This past Sunday Mr.B & I had just the teeniest glimpse of what it would feel like to find out we would be parents. As I have shared previously, I went in for my second IUI this month. We went in on Easter Monday and my nurse told me that "this will be the time it takes". Even though she was pretty confident; I was not. In fact, I was not even going to take the damn test (yes I said damn), but my doctor's office requires I take it on a certain day. Well anyhoo you might see where this is going. I took the test and yes it digitally, blatently, and surprisingly said, "pregnant". The only choices are "not pregnant" or "pregnant". I about threw up, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I quickly snuck into the next room and pulled out the card I had bought for Mr.B 2 years ago when we started this journey. I walked in, gave him the card and told him "Congratulations, you're going to be a father." We both hugged and cried tears of joy...we couldn't believe it. FINALLY, it was happening to us!! God had heard and answered our prayers. That day we shared our very exciting news with our parents and they were equally excited as you can imagine. That night when we went to bed, we were both still in shock. Our shock wasn't near as extreme as it was on Monday. Monday morning I woke up with cramps. As I laid there I just kept thinking there was NO way I would have "cramps". I took another test, and just like that our glimpse vanished. I got a BFN. Needless to say, Mr.B & I were devasted.
I called my doctor's office and they were very supportive. They said that it was most likely a false positive. It took every ounce of me to hold it together while taking the call...in class. The doctor said that he wanted to do one more IUI this month and then proceed with the surgery. I went home that night and all I wanted to do was lay in bed and have myself a sobfest. And that is exactly what I did. I needed it so I could pick myself up and move on. While I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this or not, I am still a bit wounded and needed to get the last remaining tears out so I can focus on this month. So, that is where we stand. Please keep praying that I will be patient and that God will continue to guide our decision making process!
Cheers...because, I guess, I can still drink!
